Hi internet,
I haven't really used this journal all that much, but here's an update, for anyone interested.
It turns out that I didn't get into the school clsoe to home I had kind of chosen that one as my top school, because people kept asking and I needed something to say, and because it was sort of the safe choice, that didn't take me out of my comfort zone. On the one hand, I was kind of disappointed, but the more I've been thinking about it, the more this seems almost liberating. I can make any choice I want now.
I am going to be leaving home. This terrifies me senseless, and thrills me beyond belief. I think maybe this could be good for me. I can't imagine spending much more time here, not because I don't love it, but because I think there's something waiting for me beyond my usual horizons. My mind keeps galloping around yelling random doubts, but really, I'm happy. This is my chance to see more of the world, and maybe grow up a little bit. I might end up in a city by the ocean, and I thought it was a beautiful place when I went to visit. But we'll see. I have other places to check out, so no decisions are made for sure.
I'm feeling optimistic though. Despite my nervousness, I'm glad to be starting something new. Even though I half dread leaving, I'm still looking forward to the moment when I'm surrounding by chances to try something new. Moving somewhere new could go horribly, or wonderfully, but it will be an adventure. I can't wait!